Save Our Xmas Sanity

Saving MY Sanity At Christmas - Karen's Post Christmas Review

It's all over for another year. December 25th came upon us, and, just as fast, left! 

How did YOUR Christmas go?

I catered for 14 people for Christmas Lunch, and it all went smoothly - there was plenty of food, praise abounded (yes, I loooove praise for a job well done...:), gifts were all opened and well received, Santa was good to us all, and there is still turkey and ham left overs for the post-Christmas meals...

On Boxing Day, we slept in (an unheard of luxury), and then G and I spent the early part of the day in discussions about my new project looming large to replace Sanctuary - a lot of clarity came out of that.  Then the afternoon was spent watching Ice Age 2 and playing Cluedo with the kids, assembling a telescope, and enjoying the rain (yay!!!  Rain! the BEST Christmas present of all in our drought stricken area!!)... a nice relaxing day.

So today, I have taken a little time to do a review of my own on Christmas, on what worked, what I'd do differently next year, and what I wouldn't do at all. For there is no time like the days following Christmas to plan the next one.

If we leave it until October to start planning Christmas 2007, that amnesia of time will have set in.  You're likely to forget the things you really wanted to remember.  And to blow out of proportion some other memories...

There is nothing like doing a review of this Christmas, and planning next Christmas RIGHT NOW! Grab a pen and your copy of SOXS, and start writing a letter to yourself NOW.  TODAY.  Don't put it off...  When you're done, file it in your SOXS Sanity Saver so that you have a great reference tool for next year. You'll be so glad you did when October rolls around...

In my review, the main thing I want to remember for next year is that there were things on my list that I didn't do. For each thing I didn't do - I chose consciously NOT to do it... not to spend my valuable time and energy on that rather than on something else.  I determined my priorities and decided that these things weren't worth the time and certainly weren't worth me getting all hot and bothered over.

In years past, I was very perfectionistic about Christmas. I have always loved Christmas, but this has led to an unhealthy tendency to get it right at any cost.  And usually that cost has been my cool.  It goes out the window somewhere in the lead up... and isn't found again until it's all over.   Not good.

This year, I remained cool, calm and in control the whole time. Lunch at my house for 14 people went off without a hitch. No-one lost their cool, including (most importantly) me. And no-one missed the things I didn't do.  No-one but me even realised they weren't done.

So, in my letter to myself for Christmas 2007, first on my list is - Don't be a perfectionist.  Remember what you didn't do last year, and how good it felt to be calm, and not lose your cool. By not aiming for the 'perfect' Christmas experience, it was somehow more relaxed, and a happier time for everyone.

What do you want to remind yourself of, in about 10 months time?  Write it down today!

Oh, and while you're thinking about it, please pop over and read what Rosa Say had to say over a Joyful, Jubilant Learning about her post-Christmas Review - Dear Me, from Me... she's leaving a reminder for herself in Outlook with a link to her review, so she remembers to read it.  Great tip - Rosa, I'm going to do that too!

A time of peace

Out of the strain of the doing, into the peace of the done.

- Julia Louis Woodruff

I received an email today, from David Allen the GTD guru - with that quote in it.  I loved it so much, I just had to share it with you.

It's Saturday, which means it's nine days till Christmas, and I am feeling quite productive!

I have organised a couple of last-minute gifts - by buying gift memberships to Slim Ink.

I have written the last of the Christmas cards.

I have baked a double batch of my great-grandmother's divine shortbread (she was Scottish), yes - it's in my blood even though I wasn't born a Wallace. I think I was meant to marry a man with a Scot name!!!

I have even wrapped a few more presents, including the very last one I need to post.

I am feeling that peace that only comes when things are DONE.

[PS That is a photo of our tree - the one Gorgeous Girl put up and decorated on December 1.]

How're YOU doing?

Are you calm and peaceful and enjoying the season?

What's got to change so you can feel the 'peace of the done'?

A beautiful story to make your heart sing

I'm not in the habit of forwarding those emails on that have a threat or a promise at the end ... but this story gave me more than goosebumps, and I felt it was a fitting reminder to us all of the beauty to be found in others... (a belief that may be slightly lacking if you've been battling Christmas shopping crowds and car-parking nightmares this week.)

Warning - tissues required...

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query. 

The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story: 

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning." 

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. 

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. 

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay" 

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team. 

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! 

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

May your day be a Shay Day

You don't have to be superwoman to be calm at Christmas!

I am planning to go out this afternoon and do a mammoth grocery shop.  Before I do, however, I am going to clean out the fridge, do a quick check in the freezer and a quick clear out of a couple of shelves in my pantry.

This will not only help get all the purchases stored easily, but also will let me know if we already have some of any of the items the kids have written on that list.  Especially the males in the house, who do have a fairly serious case of male blindness (father and sons:).

Just before I attack that fridge, I wanted to let you know about a post I have written over at The Clearing Space. I talk about staying calm and sane, with a list of the ways in which I am managing to sail serenely (well, as much as humanly possible for me:) through these last two weeks before Christmas.

Will you pop over and have a read?

It's Monday, and that means less than two weeks to Christmas!

In a fortnight, it will almost be all over... tummies will be full, presents will be given, wrapping paper will be all over the place...

 

You probably had a reaction to that statement!

Either:

• you will sigh, and think... won't that be nice, I'll be able to sit back with a glass of champagne and relax, knowing it all went well, and everyone was happy (including ME!), or
• you broke out in a cold sweat just thinking about all you have to accomplish in that time... your blood pressure climbed a few notches, and your heart started to race...

Which is it for you?

Are you somewhere in between?  You know you've got stuff to get done, but you're pretty sure you're up for it, and what really needs to get done, will. 

I am here to remind you - you will get to December 25 in one piece, because you do. Every Year.

Every year, December 25 rolls around right on clockwork.  Santa visits without fail.  Presents are wrapped, turkeys are stuffed and bon bons are popped... right. on. cue.

Regardless.

And even if every year, around this time, you go into panic mode... it STILL happens.  Right?

You've probably sworn after last Christmas (and the one before that, and the one before that....) that next year was going to be different!  Next year - you'd be organised!  Next year, you wouldn't be trying to please absolutely everyone except yourself and end up in a total mess.  Do you remember swearing that?

Well, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it's next year already.

It's time, right now, to make sure this year IS different!

How are you doing?

If you're one of those who have already purchased SOXS, we're betting (not that we're betting women, mind) that you're much more relaxed and feeling in control than you were this time last year.  Are you?  (Would you leave us a comment and let us know, please?)

And if you haven't already got your copy of SOXS, it ain't too late until the fat guy hops on his sleigh... SOXS isn't just for early birds and getting organised by December 1 (yes, I did, but Chris will be joining us later to tell you about her preparations... and she DIDN'T!).

SOXS can help you to avoid the Christmas anxiety even as you put out the milk and cookies for Santa.  It's not all about shopping and lists... it's also about how you feel about Christmas, and how this affects everything about the day.

What are you waiting for?  Pop on over and get your copy today, and have Christmas in the stocking before you know it!

When Santa gets stuck for ideas...

This is for all our American friends... we've been thinking of you, and realise that you have been sorely neglected in our Christmas shopping tips department.

Best Buy, the American electronics store, has two new initiatives for hassle-free Christmas shopping.

Wow Factor Finder - this is neat little gift suggestion generator - you answer a series of questions about your intended gift recipient, and it comes up with a list of very helpful suggestions (which you can then print out and take along to the nearest Best Buy store).  The recommendations aren't specific - like buy this game or this music or this MP3 player - they are general suggestions.  For example, I did a search for my 8-year-old son (the only gift I have left to sort...) and the Wow Factor Finder came up with a number of suggestions, including:

Robot Toys and Mechanical Pets

Robot toys and mechanical pets are among the hottest gift items for kids of every age. This generation of robotic toys combines technology and personality for autonomous behavior, multiple interaction levels and lifelike movements.

Here are some things to think about before purchasing a robot:

• Software: Be aware that some models include programming software for PCs and Macs, and may even be controllable from your cell phone using Bluetooth technology.

• Batteries: All robots require batteries, which are typically not included. Be sure to check the package so you can buy what you need. Lithium batteries are recommended for the high end robots.

This was only one of the suggestions... and since littleD has had a Roboraptor or a Robosapien on his list the last 2 years (gosh, darn, Santa never brought him one last year...) I can really see how this is a very appropriate recommendation.. (no guarantees it will be under the tree again THIS year, though).

photo credit: robosapienonline.com

There were even some Stocking Filler Suggestions to help Santa get his list sorted for those kids that he has left to the last minute...

I like how it doesn't recommend a particular brand, and gives some really helpful suggestions.  (This would even be helpful for people who cannot access/get delivery from a Best Buy shop, as the recommendations are so general!  Shhh, don't tell them I told you!!)

Ask A Blue Shirt - also a Best Buy initiative - a special chat event hosted by Best Buy employees (called Blue Shirts - cute) to help deranged shoppers consumers with any questions they may have about new items available this holiday season as well as to help shoppers determine how to Wow their loved ones with cool gifts that are right for them.  (Hey, isn't that what we all want?  All within the budget please...)

The chat takes place THIS FRIDAY - December 15th, at 1pm at www.askablueshirt.com - go to the website for details!

Great initiatives guys - THIS is what Christmas shopping should be like everywhere, don't you think?  With stores actually making it as easy as possible for us to satisfy the need to get the 'right' gift without all the anxiety that can go with that.

Less is more in December!

Lovely Dionna has a point.

Over at her blog, Using My Voice, Dionna Sanchez has written a beautiful post on Less Is More.

She talks about how full our lives get at this time of year, and the additional pressures we have heaped upon us just when we are meant to be enjoying the whole season of Christmas.

Just when you start to get in the mood to listen to Christmas music, put up your tree, and get gifts -- before you know it things seem to get a little out-of-hand. The time you want to spend soaking up the feeling of the Holidays is cast aside as you frantically try to find the time to squish everything in.

Oh, Dionna, we hear you!  Is this really what we want from December?  The craziness, the big-ness, the expectations and the guilt??  [Yes, I know, we've said it before, but Dionna puts it so well, and I love her perspective! - Especially about the expectations from school.  I'm not even going to go there right now, cause it's a bit of a sore point with me today]

Why is it that everyone feels the need to do so much at Christmas-time?? How about doing less - which will mean more in our hearts?

How can we do less?  What can you cut from your list?

Let's stop demanding so much from one another and start giving a little "time" back to the family -- where it belongs.

Because sometimes less is more.

Here, here!  Bravo Dionna.  Sometimes less really IS more.  Click on over and read her full post, it's guaranteed to get you thinking.

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens... A few...

of our Favourite Things...

... shopping sites on-line, actually :)

While Chris is busy planning her Christmas sitting on the couch with her SOXS Sanity Saver folder and pen in hand...(and trying to pin her hubby down for long enough to make some executive purchasing decisions), I've been busy finishing my shopping on-line.

And most of it arrived on my doorstep in the last couple of days!  Yahoo!!

I was talking with a friend this afternoon who was bemoaning the state of shopping centres - how people are grumpy and rude, how the hassle for parking really brings out the worst in people, and how negative she finds the whole Christmas shopping experience.  She said wouldn't it be wonderful if people were happy, and even went around singing Christmas carols as they shopped (can you IMAGINE it?)...

We agreed that shopping centres really are places to avoid from now until sometime in January.

I'm going to let you in on my secrets for finishing my Christmas shopping without setting foot in a shopping mall:

www.petersofkensington.com.au - oh boy, do I LOVE this site!  Not only is it easy to navigate, with a huge range of products for every taste, some at amazingly low prices, they also individually gift wrap each item you order over the value of $15 for free!  My first batch arrived yesterday, very well packaged, delivered to my door by the postman, beautifully gift wrapped, ready to pop under the tree.  What could be better?  I'm pretty sure you could also get them to deliver your gifts for you to most destinations in Australia.

www.sanity.com.au - for a great range of music and movies - at competitive prices delivered to your mail box fuss-free.  I love to give music as gifts, and my family this year had a few requests for unusual DVDs - I found them all on Sanity (not that I bought them all!), and I hadn't found any in the shopping centres.

www.experiencethis.com.au - for 'experience' gifts - including new Greater Union/Birch Carroll and Coyle gift cards - these cards come in various denominations from $30 to $150 and would be a brilliant gift for the movie lover in your life.  They can spend the value of the card at the cinemas in any way they want (movies, lollies, choc-top icecreams, champagne and Gold Class tickets...whatever!)  HINT: also great for staff gifts ;-)

www.lastminute.com.au - Chris told me about this site (no, I haven't actually purchased anything from here), but a quick review of the goodies here tells me this would be a good place to get some of your Christmas shopping sorted.

If you have any other favourite on-line shopping stores - especially our international readers who care to share - please leave a comment below, or send us an email to SaveXmas at gmail dot com and tell us why you are recommending them please.

There is still time to get your shopping sorted online - but don't leave it too late - some sites are citing delivery cannot be guaranteed if you order too close to Christmas, so check the individual sites for current delivery times and cut off dates.

Warning! Absolutely Gorgeous Goosebumps Ahead from our other winner.

Christmas Eve was my first kiss,
With a man whose given me eternal bliss.
The man, now known as my hubby,
Made that Christmas positivley lovely!!
Two kids and a mortgage down the track,
I still get goosebumps thinking back,
To that kiss, that man, that christmas night,
A moment in time, that made me his wife!

                               

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With the two biggest Romantics known to Oz reading competition entries, the GOOSEBUMPS we got from this one did it for us!!!  This so wonderfully captured the "magic" we'd love to see you all making space to enjoy by Saving Your Xmas Sanity.  This sweet poem totally captured "what every girl dreams of".  Congratulations Anita!

"Picture This" from one of our winners

Picture this...

Townsville (North Queensland) Christmas Eve 1971.  I am only young (ok I'm 7).

Like every child I am so excited about this Christmas Day,  the two preceeding Christmas Days were very sad because my dad had died just before Christmas in 1969, and I was still adjusting to his loss.

But this year its going to be different, it was going to be special.

Mum is on a widow's pension and money is tight, but I know she bought me one really great present, I saw the big box!

Then suddenly comes the shrill sound most northern Australian children dread - the cyclone alert blasts from the TV.  There is a cyclone coming...

Oh well, most of them never go near us.

But this one "Althea" was different.

Not only did she come, but she hit Townsville full on, a catagory 3.  Remember we're talking 1971, so the town didn't have adequate safety, like pins and bolts, and things kids know nothing of.

All we know is our house is half gone. Our fridge is dead.  And everything is a mess.

Christmas Day and Mum and I are just sitting there looking at it all, and then she pulls out my present (it did survive).

It was a little colourful keyboard that was popular back then.  I was thrilled!  Only problem was the batteries that were to go in it, were in the torch and other items of "need", so I sat there on Christmas Day wondering just how much worse things could possibly get. 

We ate a sandwich for Christmas lunch.  I had a keyboard I couldn't play and no batteries to be bought anywhere.  The roof was half off the house. 

And just me and Mum alone...

My children today ask me why I am always quiet at Christmas time and sometimes I shed a tear or two.

I try to explain that between their Grandad dying just before Christmas in 1969, and Cyclone Althea, I have never viewed Christmas in the same light.  The "magic", as they say, has gone for me.

But I do get joy out of their smiles and laughs as they open their Christmas presents with excitement and wonder, for Christmas is truly for children.

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Now do you see why we couldn't resist this haunting evocative story as a winner for our competition?  We felt so honoured to be allowed to share in Annette's vulnerability in sharing this story.  I'm sure it will resonate with readers who know all too painfully that Christmas can be a sad and difficult time and grief can pervade our lives in so many big and little ways. 

We want to thank Annette for reminding us all how important the PEOPLE are at Christmas.  As Richard Carlson would say Dont Sweat the Small Stuff.