Save Our Xmas Sanity

The BIG Day - Christmas Pt 3

Melbourne is notorious/famous for it's weather.

This summer has been a very hot one.  Fire fighters have been fighting terrible excoriating bushfires since late November.  In the lead-up to Christmas, Melbourne frequently woke to a city wreathed in smoke, and eerie and frightening orange suns.

So when Christmas Day came with a forecast of 16C and hail, we were a little taken aback!

Fortunately despite a guest list of 20, we'd always intended for us to set up a massive table/s indoors.  SweetP had pulled out our house plans, played on some computer software and identified the best place and way to create a table around which 20 of us could sit.  It required swapping the furniture in two rooms and adding 3 trestle tables to our LARGE square dining table (and thus several sets of young male hands to move the furniture on Christmas Eve). 

Unfortunately however the menu, planned 3 weeks in advance and assuming - at least - a warmish summer day, was for a BBQ and salads.

So our Christmas morning plans suddenly had to include SweetP rigging up some kind of cover/tarpaulin for the cooks to remain outside tending to the BBQ, even as it hailed and rained and they all froze!

In the kitchen, I was not so merrily and somewhat stressedly (is there such a word), preparing the meat marinades.  Following the blithe instructions of a TV cook I'd seen a few days earlier, I was "popping" the boned legs of lamb in individual plastic seal-top bags along with their red wine, garlic, fresh herbs, extra virgin oil etc marinade.

While I sealed one, the other slowly sank flat and the marinade ebbed out of the bag.  My attention was drawn, all too slowly, to a dripping noise and I turned to find red wine, oil and herbs sprayed on every cream-coloured cupboard and drawer-front across my expansive kitchen as well as streaking across the pale tiles and splashing up all the kickboards.

The string of invective was hardly Christmassy!

SweetP, outside and up a ladder struggling with the tarp, was in a no position to help, so the morning was going REALLY badly and SOXS wasn't going to help at this stage!  I was seriously stressed!

Time was running out, guest were due, my kitchen would be overrun by people bearing food, needing last minute preparation and plating, and there was RED  SPLATTER everywhere!!!!!!!!

Predictably, they arrived and I wasn't ready, and was struggling (even with my surreptitious last-minute to-do list) to work out what I was doing; let alone avail myself of kindly offers  of assistance and encouragement to delegate tasks!

Add to that, the fact that the two grandchildren allocated the supposedly eady job of collecting Feisty Little Mother were nowhere to be seen and arrived 90 minutes late.  No explanation, and no doubt I'll be told to "get over it Mum".  FLM,  with her usual confusion and forgetfulness, was ringing for the umpteenth time wanting to know what was happening, and the two offenders' mothers were off-the-scale "shitty"!

To top it all off, I kept losing my champagne glass!  THAT was my day's drug of choice for lowering my stress!  Was NOTHING on MY side??

In the end, a lovely, but late meal was had, around a beautiful table with lots of great conversation and laughter.  FLM had a wonderful day, little of which she now recalls.

One of the mob, popped out to the park next door and persuaded some stranger to come and stand in our courtyard while all 20 of us, some a little more "tiddly"than others, finally got ourselves sorted out sufficiently to have some wonderfully memorable full-family photos taken!  Thank you whoever you were!

I wanted to write this post because the day didn't go smoothly.  It  wasn't perfect! 

And that's where I went wrong!

You see, in the final hours of the best Christmas lead-up I've ever had, I lost my sanity!

I forgot to put aside my obsessive drive for Perfection.

It WAS an enormously successful Christmas and my sanity only cracked at the last minute, so that's what I'll need to work on for next year!

And now, SOXS IS officially put to bed!

Pt 2 of The December Saga

For those of you who missed Part 1, a bad back laid me low at the beginning of November.  Come early December,

not only was my Bah-Humbug meter nearly going off the scale, but so were my anxiety levels. [more]

If I was ever going to get through, I was going to have to REALLY "do" SOXS.

Not just using all those gorgeous lists but also working my way through why my attitude to Christmas was so bad. 

You see those of you who read reviews of SOXS thought it was just a pile of lists and some "maybe-helpful" advice from two women who may/may not have been experts.  That's where SOME people seriously underestimate SOXS.

You see when you open SOXS, and before you ever find a list or a tip, you're confronted with some questions that really challenge you to understand what it is you find so difficult and identify how you want it to be different.   There's some serious laser-coaching-in-a-book there!  And just like all lasers it gets to the heart of the matter!

As I found out - when I sat and answered my own and Karen's questions. 

I was like a worm on a bait-hook squirming uncomfortably, but knowing that I was actually getting to the nub of the problems.  I had a bit of a cry over my chardy, but felt kind of relieved and released.  If you can feel released when you're trussed up in a back brace like a turkey ready for the oven!

Having faced my demons I started planning.   

SweetP was absolutely floored when I came to him and asked to sit and negotiate a budget for various gifts, food, alcohol etc.   It's never been done before, and  you could see the fear, and worry about the assault to credit cards, fade off his face.  I'm not surprised he was floored, I don't recall ever voluntarily raising the word "budget" with him before.  It's usually me being dragged, kicking and screaming, to the "budget table"!

I didn't use all the lists because they weren't all relevant for me.  (We'd never intended that everyone would use  everything.) But having taken copies of the lists pages I wanted, I proceeded to write up:

• a list of gift recipients, both family and friends etc
  • what I would get for them
  • in what price range
  • and at what location (all of them away from busy shopping malls and those endless parking searches)
• a to-do list
  
  • (I stapled several pages of that one together and kept it with me wherever I went so I could capture things as I remembered them)
• the Christmas card list where I recorded who I sent cards to and who I received them from
  • that took several pages as well, in the end
  • what's more there's space on those pages for 2007 and 2008 as well
  • despite my intention NOT to send cards, I felt guilty when I began receiving them and decided to respond after all
  • but next year I've promised myself to make a decision to "send or not send" early and stick to it, and act early if I'm going to. 
  • I won't be doing a last minute post-out in the final week this year!
• a drafted menu plan
  • and then I asked various family members to join me as we tossed around more specific menu ideas and
  • allocated tasks to ourselves as well as those absent from the meeting.  (Some of the grandchildren got a little shock when they got told what they were to make and bring on the day)
• a Christmas food shopping list

In the last week I created a new to-do format.  Using my precious "to-do master sheets", I turned an empty page to landscape, divided it into the appropriate number of days and allocated tasks across those days.   (We'll definitely be including that in next year's version.)

As I was still needing to rest my back frequently I was really reliant on not overloading my final days and allowing time for rests as well.  I even put "rest" on my list!

Any of my clients would tell you that we always plan a reward at the same time as they plan an action.  That way rewarding yourself doesn't get lost in the chaos, with a consequential ebbing of motivation.  My reward for completing my to-dos (or rescheduling or ditching them) was a half-hour's uninterrupted reading each day.  That was the perfect combination rest + book = reward!

All of these precious items went into a simple binder wallet and accompanied me whenever I picked up my handbag for those last couple of weeks.

The satisfaction of ticking off or putting a line through completed tasks was better than s...

Oh alright maybe not better than sex, but it did feel good!

With Christmas looming so close and me soaked in an overwhelming desire to have FINISHED gift shopping before that last week, it soon became clear that my intentions to shop in short sharp early-morning bursts was not going to get the job done.  I'd just run out of time for that.

So SweetP and I planned a Saturday session but knowing exactly where we were going and definitely steering clear of any large shopping malls.  (The smaller ones are OK, people tend to use them for food shopping not gift shopping,  and somehow forget the rest of all those nice little small businesses in there eager to help you and get your sale!)

We got up early and  were ready to leave at 9.  Even that was a bit late for my comfort but ...

And then the car wouldn't start!  And we're a one-car family!

What amazed SweetP in this frustrating situation was that I laughed!  (I've NEVER been known to throw a hissy fit so why would he be surprised???????)

The RACV, our roadside assistance service, were there in 15 minutes and quickly diagnosed an old and very dead battery.  The serviceman booked us one of their battery service cars, advising us that while they were telling him the wait period was 11 minutes, he thought that was unlikely and more like a half an hour.  Five minutes later, the battery van drove up and within another 20 mins we were on our way to our delayed shopping. 

I was still smiling and relaxed.  SweetP was convinced I'd popped several Valium!!!

But that day, parking spaces opened up as we drove up, selections were made in moments, assistance was professional and useful, and the vast majority of the gift list was knocked off by 4 that afternoon.  We both remained relaxed and definitely deserved the glass of wine we had on our return to celebrate the most painLESS Christmas shopping trip of our entire 32 year marriage!

 

Why Chris NEEDED SOXS for Christmas 06 - Pt 1

I've just GOT to put it SOMEWHERE!

Karen, the seriously organised one in this collaboration, put up a review and a request for your feedback a couple of weeks ago. 

Basically that was so we could put SOXS to bed till September 07.  And that was fine by me.  It seemed tucked in, with all the right kind of hospital corners!

But for some reason I can't move on, until I've shared with you my "down and dirty" experience of this last Christmas season in my world, when I REALLY used SOXS to get me through.

After all, Karen and I conceived and wrote SOXS to get ME over my bah-humbug attitudes to Christmas.

Yes I know that sounds incongruous to have written a book for you, to help ME deal with my problem, but we knew my problem encapsulated quite a FEW people's difficulties with Christmas!

Back in mid-October, I wrote on Take A Bite, the Pink Apple blog, that I was going to have Christmas gifts and all the "stuff", bar the food, all organised and ready to go by December 1.  At the time, I was a little busy but it all seemed easily do-able!

Let's just say that my body had other ideas of how it was going to punish me for ignoring the messages it was valiantly sending out. 

Come December 1, I'd been flat on my back for several weeks, I was in a back brace, (Mum always said I should wear a girdle, and BOY did she get her wish!)

Would you be surprised to hear that that taking Valium three times a day to control the spasm, and popping painkillers for the unrelenting back pain, doesn't actually allow you out of the house, let alone pretending to be clever and have your Christmas shopping done early?

So suddenly not only was my Bah-Humbug meter nearly going off the scale, but so were my anxiety levels. 

This was to be a very special Christmas in my family.  Feisty Little Mother (FLM) continues to slowly slide into the fog of dementia.  My sisters and I had faced the prospect that by next year she might be incapable of recognising some or all of us, let alone enjoying the day.  It called for a BIG CHRISTMAS, one like we'd NEVER had before!  We worked hard to gather ALL of the grandchildren, and for the first time the great grand-children, in the one country, the one state, and the one house for Christmas.  The four generations! 

But that house was to be mine!  20 people!  Come December 25, there was going to be a serious crowd at my doorstep.  And I was flat on my back, unsure WHEN I'd ever be able to remain upright for anything more than an hour, let alone go out into the big bad world of Pre-Christmas Shopping and Planning!

See now you understand why K aren was doing all the blog postings!

Having set the scene, let's do what the TV producers do and take a break, and I'll come back in a day or two and finish off!

End of Festive Season Wrap-Up

The last of the tinsel has been tucked safely away for another year.  The cake has been eaten, the champagne all downed... and all through the house, not a wrapped present to be found. 

New Year has rung her bell... we've reviewed, and we're happy with Christmas 2006.  Well, mostly.

For those special people who purchased SOXS (or won it!), we'd like to say a huge thanks & we sincerely hope your festive season was Joyous and Sane and Saved...

For those in our community who supported us, and helped to promote SOXS, we'd like to again express our neverending thanks.  You've helped make it a success!

Now - here's our challenge.  We're reviewing SOXS, the good, the bad AND the ugly, this week and we'd love your input.  PLEASE either leave a comment here, or email us at SaveXmas@gmail.com - and let us know:

• what worked for you, what didn't
• what you found most valuable
• what you REALLY wanted to see more of
• why you purchased SOXS (and whether it lived up to your expectations)
• OR, why you did not purchase SOXS
• what you feel we could do differently next time

Please, we beg of you.... we're down on our knees asking for your input.  (And with Chris' dodgy, bionic knee, we're talking major strain!!)  Let us know.  Now?

We will be putting this blog and website into hiatus, like the Christmas decorations, until September 2007.  If you'd like to know when we're back on air, please hit the subscribe buttom up the top of this page, and you'll automatically be sent all updates to this page later in the year.

Wishing you a fabulous 2007!  Full of energy and excitement.